What I’ve Learned.

Actions speak louder than words. Its a well-worn cliché, I know. But guess what? Its true.  Use it as a guide.

If a man tells you “I don’t deserve you”, believe him. No, better yet, THANK HIM and then get the hell out of there. He’s not being coy, its a warning.

When things are good, everyone wants to be your friend. When things are bad -really, really bad – only your real friends want to be your friends. Next time you’re at the bottom, look around and take attendance. 

Hello? I’m calling from the future: The sun feels and looks great on your skin, but man oh man, it gives you the finger in your 40’s. I can’t stress this enough. If I had a DeLorean with a Flux Capacitor, I would go back to age 14 and put on that tacky Coppertone white block and toss that bottle of baby oil.   

Who you are in high school is basically who you will be all your life. You’ll learn to dress better, you’ll know more about technology, you’ll have better manners. But at the core, you’re the same person. Embrace him/her, tell them its ok to be that person and move on. However, make sure to tell them its NOT ok to like Justin Bieber.

You know how you’ve always been told to use your head? Fuck that. My head just likes to fuck with my heart’s head.  Ignore it. Listen to your gut. 

Somewhat related to the point above: if you suspect it, you’re most probably right. There is a theory called “Occam’s Razor”. Simply put: when comparing answers, the simplest is usually the correct one. You can try to convince yourself otherwise (there’s that cruel, creative brain trying to muddy things up again) but if it quacks like a duck… well, you know.  Simply stated:  LET YOURSELF KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.  

Shoes shouldn’t stretch. If you try on a pair of shoes and they’re too small, and the salesperson says “they’re leather, they will stretch” ask for another sales person, and another pair of shoes.  If shoes don’t feel like cashmere socks on the sales floor, you will always hate them. And there is nothing worse for the soul than a pair of shoes that pinch. 

Over-planning and anticipation for most things will result in disappointment. The best moments of our lives are usually borne of sheer, random happenstance or impulsiveness.

Don’t ever forget that your brain works for YOU, not the other way around. Don’t let it take a few swigs of tequila and start thinking thoughts that undermine you! Control it to focus on the good things about you and about your life.  As far as bodily organs go, the brain is the “mean girl” of the operation. She knows your insecurities and darkest places.  Don’t let her. Make her do what you want or threaten her that you will swallow a bottle of pills and turn her into a zucchini. That will shut her up.  

Acceptance is NOT complacency.  Forgiveness feels much better than resentment.  Someone did you wrong? Forgive them. That allows you to purge negative feelings and put them and their actions into a box to throw away. As Carrie Fisher once said “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”.  Let it go, its the best revenge. 

“It is what it is” isn’t a way out or a glib comment.  Most times  its exactly that, what it is.

Un clavo saca otro clavo. Scieentifically proven and the only way to get over “the last one”.  Sorry ya’ll.

This next one is easier to absorb as you get older: be who you are. Sure, you should strive to be a better version of you always, but stop fighting with yourself to be someone else. Its a life-long battle that will only consume time. Be you – what feels organically genuine – and you can’t go wrong.  You’re not a southern debutante/femme fatale/earth mother/cowboy/Indian chief. Give it up.

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3 Responses to What I’ve Learned.

  1. Booger From Hell says:

    I am an unwrapped fleshtone Crayola, thrown by a three-year-old from the back seat a week ago, in a Porsche Cayenne parked in the open in the Miami summer, now trapped in that nether-world, too-thin-for-fingers-but-fat-enough-for-a-Crayola gap between dashboard and windshield, waiting for rescue that will never come, panicking in legless and armless claustrophobia. And you are the sun.

  2. Patty says:

    I like these words of wisdom . . . some in particular hit home . . . thank you.

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