Obsessed: White Girl Problems.

(Re-printed from Thoughtcatalog.com)

If the success of television shows like Sex and the City and The Hills have taught us anything, it’s that people love a white girl with problems. With their endless boyfriend and shoe drama, characters like Carrie Bradshaw and Lauren Conrad brought the plights of rich self-absorbed white girls to audiences everywhere and eventually inspired the creation of a little Twitter called, White Girl Problems (@whitegrlproblem). In 140 characters or less, White Girl Problems tweets about everything from wardrobe meltdowns (“Fuck. I left those shoes in Dubai.”), to general laziness (“I don’t want to.”), and has become the ultimate guide to crises that affect the privileged and oblivious. Even though it’s only been around for nine months, the satirical Twitter already has over 60,000 followers and has earned the adoration of celebrities such as Johnny Weir and Emma Roberts, turning it into yet another Twitter success story. Its appeal is easy to understand. Besides being actually funny, White Girl Problems provides commentary on the current state of pop culture–a time when vapid behavior is not only socially acceptable but celebrated with reality shows, endorsements and tabloid covers- and it also administers a dose of self-awareness to those who are lucky enough to have such insignificant dilemmas.

Thought Catalog was granted the first interview with the voice of White Girl Problems, Miss Babe Walker. We were instructed to only speak to her about her favorite things which, as it turned out, were sharks, men and rehab.

Thought Catalog: Why’s your name Babe, Babe?

Babe Walker: It’s short for Barbara, which is too formal for a free-spirit like me.

TC: Babe, you have over 60,000 followers? Are you surprised by your success?

BW: No.

TC: What inspires your tweets?

BW: So many things. Fitness, relationships, spirituality, my phone, healing, girlfriends, boyfriends, gay people, humor, purses, straight people, shoes, accessories, fashion, horses, Twitter, pets, Macbook airs, magazines, iPads, sharks, they’re my favorite animal, animals, oh and one more thing. But it’s a secret.

TC: Who/What is the ultimate white girl problem?

BW: Being super cold or being super hot.

TC: What do you look for in a man?

BW: The perfect man is Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic, meets Josh Hartnett in person (he looks terrible in movies) meets Gerard Butler never. Next question.

TC: Many of our readers are single and depressed. Do you have any dating advice?

BW:

• a. Find a man with good hands, good teeth, good face, good body, and a good funny bone.

• b. If you think he’s gay, then he probably is.

• c. You can always fake a pregnancy/miscarriage combo as a last ditch effort to salvage a relationship.

TC: What qualities do you look for in a rehab center?

BW: Rehab is all about the spa. It’s really hard to heal if your skin is in a bad place. Impossible, actually.

TC: What are your favorite Twitter accounts, besides your own?

BW: Oh, that’s cute that you think I use Twitter like that. I’ve never snooped around on there. I just post my thoughts and then get on with my life.

TC: You seem obsessed with being thin. What are your diet tips?

BW: I am not obsessed with being thin. You are obsessed with me being thin! It’s hard to give one diet tip that will work for everyone. (I don’t know how many fat readers you have.) In general, if I have to give one tip to my readers, stick to a liquid diet and only eat solids on days that begin with T.

TC: I’m just one of your many gay followers. What’s it like being a gay icon?

BW: It’s an honor. Gays totally get me and I get them too. I was a gay man in my past life, so I feel blessed that gays look to me for guidance.

TC: What’s in the future for White Girl Problems?

BW: Well, I’ve been asked to write a book about my problems, which my psychic says will be a New York Times Bestseller. I’m thinking about going back to being blonde, just to switch things up a little bit. I have a feeling my Dad is going to give me a new car for my birthday, and I see myself incorporating lots of disco looks into my wardrobe come Spring. Disco is coming back in a huge way, and if you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, then you need to STOP reading, open a new tab, and Google Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer 2011 collection. So there’s really a lot to look forward to!

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