Don’t believe everything you see, even if it is on Bravo. I like a good stereotype as much as the next person, but there are a few myths I feel compelled to dispell about Miami women, in the face of this new show. Ay.
1. Most actual “housewives” in Miami are busy running a household, driving in horrendous traffic, holding down a full-time job, rearing kids and trying to find time to have sexual relations with their husband. The majority of them don’t have time to be on TV shows.
2. Many of us in Miami can actually speak English. Like, really.
3. Okay, so you see your share of plastic surgery excess in Miami, but I can count the women under 50 who have A PARALYZED TOP LIP on the fingers of one hand.
Some of us have real breasts. Okay, a couple of us. Forget this one.
5. Many Miami women have made their own money and many more actually out-earn their partners. Not all of us are wealthy-via-marriage.
6. No one’s mother in Miami is an actual witch. (Except mine! Ha!)
7. Many Miami women are surpsirisngly not married to NBA stars. We have a very limited number of players on The Miami Heat and most are taken. For now.
8. When we walk into a room you won’t suddenly hear the sounds of maracas, salsa music and parrots. Sorry to disappoint you.
9. I’m mad at Bravo for not asking me to be on this show.
10. The one thing they did get right: we always, always look freakin’ fabulous.